becoming who i was always meant to be
you can call me pen
hi, i’m so happy you’re here!
my journey is probably not unlike yours in many ways. i was stuck in a life i had passively created without realising it — completely disconnected from who i was, and operating from extremely low self-worth. but i knew i wanted more. i wanted deep love (the kind that changes you in the best ways), financial security, optimal health, to feel confident in who i was and what i stood for, to move out of the city, to feel at ease… and… i knew all of that started with the relationship i had with myself.
so i got to work.
i started out with leaky gut, financial hardship, a marriage that was ending, several years in sympathetic dominance (fight or flight), no libido, no boundaries (or even knowing what they were), and no idea who i was or what my needs were (or that having needs was even a thing). it wasn’t until i took radical responsibility for where i was that everything started to change. if, on some level, i created my circumstances, then i could change them too — i found this concept so empowering, and i still do!
some change happened quickly and with very little effort. other change was more of a slow burn that took time and reinforcement, as my nervous system permitted. i am now debt-free, in a relationship with the love of my life, living in the area i dreamed of, with amazing friends, high self-worth and self-trust. i’m more in tune with my needs and boundaries, and have a deep knowing that the best is truly still yet to come.
it wasn’t always easy. when i manifested my partner and an exit from my corporate career, my nervous system hadn’t quite caught up with my new identity. cue a [figurative] massive pump of the brakes — my nervous system completely shut down and i was stuck. stuck in apathy, depression, overwhelm, and self-sabotage, not understanding how my actions could so overtly be in opposition to the life i wanted — the life i was starting to call mine. i came to realise that my nervous system was ‘unfamiliar’ with my new life, my new identity, and i was subconsciously holding onto my old one.
suddenly i felt so unlike myself, and inflammation was running through each part of my life, all in the name of ‘protecting myself’. i needed to regulate. i needed to create safety in my system so i could rejoin the world and feel like myself again. and i needed to increase my capacity so i could hold the life i'd created. this was my new lesson.
on the other side, i now feel more embodied in my new life and have a deeper knowledge and many new tools for nervous system regulation. i’m so grateful for this experience — it’s shown me how important integration and building capacity are in this work, and my framework for change has strengthened as a result.
i’m here to tell you:
the life you want is possible for you
over the years, i’ve collected modalities and teachings i love to work with that have helped me change my life, and every new life experience provides an opportunity to expand that list. my approach is simple and grounded. i take concepts that are abstract or complicated and make them relatable — so you can see how they apply to you, and the actions to integrate change are clear.
we also build safety and capacity in the nervous system, while creating rapid change at a subconscious level — because this is where the real shifts happen.
i would love to partner with you to create the change in your life that your heart is calling for. you can explore how we can work together when you are ready. if my story resonates, i’d love to hear from you.
xx